The Blended Family is the New Normal, really? How about Complex Blended Families

Okay so I hear from so many people and statistics online that say, one third of Americans are living in step family situations.  Blended/step families are on the rise.  It's the "new normal".  If I am the "new normal" why do I feel so alone?
 Coming from a complex blended family I rarely find myself talking with someone who really gets it.  (Sadly this includes our family and marriage therapist.)  At the playground with "my" three kids a Mom once remarked how different each of my children look, and I explained "that's my son from my previous marriage, that's my husbands daughter from his previous marriage and that one over there is our daughter from our current marriage."  "Oh how nice" she sincerely replied "you both have one from someone else and one together, that works our well!"  How nieve I thought.
We are a blended family looking for harmony.  Harmony between our kids, harmony with our co-parents and harmony with each other.  We see a family therapist, who I really value, mostly because I can threaten the hubby with telling on him to the therapist.  Unfortunalty he knows the same trick.  So basically, it keeps us accountable.  And I listen to so many books on tape and CD(while cleaning) I feel as if I am becoming a stepmom/mommy/relationship ninja.  My favorite that I play over and over is the Love and Logic parenting series.  The 1-2-3 magic parenting DVD changed our home for the better in a few short weeks.  I want to let all my friends and family borrow that one!
Now I do need to say I love my family and I am crazy in love with my husband, but the dynamics of the family require a lot of work.  Kids who go to  be early and a great sex life are two places that I highly recommend starting at!
I would love to hear feedback from other blended families.  Tell me, tell me, I need to know I'm not alone.  If it wern't so tired I'd dish out some real step family sagas that had me wishing I could dissapear to a tropical island.
So I'm calling out to blended families, Stepmoms, Stepdads, Stepsisters and Stepbrothers.  Tell what works or doesn't work?  What do you love about your stepfamily and what can't you stand about it?   Who should share a bedroom? Who gets the biggest room? Do you need to rotate who gets the biggest room? 
I have learned a lot and I am willing to share more of what I have run into that is helpful and would love to learn from you all in the new normal.